Black & White

Today I learned a new word: Manichean. It's defined as the tendency to see things in black or white. There are those who would use this word to describe me.

I'm told that things are either good or bad for me. Either on or off. That it's always all or nothing. That there's no negotiating or compromising with me. If I can't have everything just so, then I'll forgo it altogether.

While it's true that I have these tendencies, I wouldn't describe them in such simple terms. I see things in vivid colors, and not just two. When I feel a certain way, that feeling has weight. It has substance. It has characteristics and properties that allow it to do things to my soul.

A feeling can be fashioned into many different weapons. A feeling can also become a vessel that transports me to different levels of bliss. Is there an in-between? Certainly. The in-between is like the din of everyday life. There is no such thing as silence. My poles are like the difference between elevator music and joyful laughter. Like wanting to puke my guts out versus hungering desperately for something. The in-between isn't necessarily a place of indifference -- but it's not something to strive for, either. It's a place void of strong desire. If all I meant to be was carefree, then the in-between is where I would go.

And honestly, sometimes I think that might be the way to go. Why not live in the gray twilight? It's certainly easier than either wanting or rejecting wants. Maybe just being accepting is the path to true happiness.

But that -- to me -- is like not wanting anything. And what kind of way is that to live?

Yes ... okay, I see how this could be construed as a black and white view. Manichean: That's me.

 

Banking And Beer

Today I ate lunch at my favorite brewpub, a Mcmenamins location called Six Arms. It's been a long time since I've been there, which was evident from the change in beer selection. On tap was a new beer called "Bernanke's Dream", which was the third and final brew in a series called "The Big Bailout". The first two in the series were no longer available; I can't remember what they were called exactly, but they were named after Paulson and Geithner. It's too bad I missed out on trying them. The "Bernanke's Dream" was quite good. Malty and hoppy, it also had some seasonal spice flavors (i.e., nutmeg and cinnamon) and a fine finish. If this is the type of thing the banking crisis inspires, I might require more crises in the future. Yum.